It's Been A While....But I'm Back!

My last post was from when Gianna was born. Our little love is now 20 months old... I had every intention of continuing this blog when she was born but life had other plans. Consider this a two year recap of sorts.

I had four glorious months off with her and during that time I really struggled with the idea of going back to work and leaving this little baby with strangers. It was all consuming and lead to some issues with postpartum depression for me. I just could not understand how on Earth I was supposed to be the kind of mother I wanted to be if someone else was taking care of my baby for nine hours a day. Needless to say, I had a really hard time. Every minute I had with her at home was precious (the hour in the morning and the two hours in the evening) and after she went to sleep I would do the normal mom things of cleaning bottles, getting her things ready for daycare the next day, cleaning my pump parts, then would pass out in bed. There never seemed to be enough time for blog entries though I started many posts. Many times I would write the text but could never find the time to add the pictures. You can't have a blog post without pictures.... :) There will be some "catch up" pics throughout this post. 

Gianna wore my baptism gown, 2-17-13 (3 months old)

With her Godparents, Zia Nannina and Uncle Billy

 

Some of our professional six month pics

Nine months old!

Gianna's first word was not just a word, but a gesture AND a word. We are over achievers in this house. :) She was about 10 months old and would wave to us and say "hi" at the same time. In this video I got her waving and then saying "hi".  It's still one of her favorite words!

It took a while to feel like myself again. It was after her first birthday and once the holidays passed. I was able to stop taking the medication, stop therapy and finally feel like the old Dana again. The funny part is, when people (not everyone) hear the words postpartum depression, they think it's about not being able to connect with your baby, not wanting to take care of them, not bonding with them. That was not the case at all with me. I was/am so incredibly bonded to her. I can't get enough. Even now. There are not enough minutes in the day to spend with her. The overwhelming guilt of thinking I could not be what she needed and what I wanted to be was what got me.

Some of our professional 1 year pics

For her actual birthday, we had the family over and I baked Gianna a cake. She had a lot of fun diving into the cake and opening her presents.

We had Gianna's first birthday party at our house. I loved planning it and decorating. She doesn't really watch TV or have any favorite characters yet so I just went with some pretty colors. :)

We had some other struggles along the way, too. I exclusively nursed Gianna until she was six months old, then we introduced solid foods and continued to nurse. I had some milk supply issues that started around month 3 and it took a while to get things back where they needed to be. Luckily, I have the incredible support of Marco and my family, and hired an IBCLC to help me. She worked wonders! I pumped at work until she was 14 months old then was able to wean off the pump. Now, G is 20 months old and we are still nursing twice a day during the week and a little more on weekends. It is one of my favorite parts of my relationship with her. I plan to let her self wean and decide when she's done. It's just part of life around here. She did learn to say "boobies" recently and it's pretty hilarious to hear her ask for them by name instead of just pointing to my chest and saying "this".

Marco, Gianna and I have taken two trips abroad in the last year or so. I travel to London for work each summer and last year Gianna and Marco came for the first time. G was 7 months old and we were there for ten days. That was a great trip but also a hard one for me. I was in the middle of the throws of depression, had just started taking meds but they hadn't kicked in yet and I struggled immensely.

London 2013 (7.5 months old)

This year was much different and so much better! G was 19 months old and not only did we do the ten days in London for work, but our families met us in London and we did a five day vacation to Rome, too! What a difference a year makes. Gianna met Pope Francis (Papa Francesco to the Italians) when we attended the Papal Mass at the Vatican. We has great seats and he drove right in front of us in his pope-mobile. Pope Francis looked right at Gianna (as Marco held her up), smiled and gave her a blessing. I don't think it gets any better than that.

LONDON 2014:

Changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace

There is this perfect little toddler park right near the University of London

She loved all the squares! There were little flowers to pick and birds to chase.

The most beautiful gardens

She loves to smell flowers!

This is how we traveled...triple wide.

Loved her Cornetto :)

Afternoon Tea at Kensington Palace

Incredible garden at the palace

My little family!

Near the toddler park there was this little house. G had a blast walking around in it. Here is a short video of my smart girl!

ROME 2014:

Coming into the square for mass at the Vatican

He was right in front of us and blessed Gianna right after this was taken.

A Swiss Guard

The humidity gave her the most amazing curls!

Hanging out on the steps at St. Peters Basilica

And practicing her best Marilyn impression

She had so much fun with Zia

This girl LOVES her spaghetti

Family dinner at the apartment

She loves cooking with daddy

And eating everything he makes (scrambled eggs with garlic and basil)

The Spanish Steps

Inside the Colosseum

She wanted to touch it..

At the Colosseum and in front of the Arch of Constantine

That face!

Walking the streets of Rome like a big girl

Enjoying apertivo on the patio

All in all, I am really happy with where life is right now. I am more in love with my husband than I have ever been. He makes my world a better place and takes such good care of us. There is not a better daddy out there anywhere. We just celebrated five years of marriage and will be together for eleven years this November. I have a thriving daughter who is so incredibly smart and loving. She is a chatterbox and says about 75 words, talks in 3-4 word sentences, knows 4-5 colors and is learning more and more every day. She loves to give kisses and "hugs with arms". She will stop what she is doing to come get me, lead me back to where she is playing, give me a kiss and tell me to sit so I can play with her. She melts me. How did I ever get so lucky in this life? I am counting my blessings and thanking God for everything he has given us.

It's good to be back.